Decompressing...

If you've ever attended a workshop/training/retreat, yoga focused or otherwise, you know how it takes some time to fully decompress the event. A return to the normal rhythms of my life has been nice this week. I've enjoyed re-entering into my duties at home, a little calmer, a little more mindful. I've felt fresh in my return to classes, sharing a bits of the wisdom passed on at conference. But I also still find myself processing.

For example yesterday while doing dishes, the work we did in Jason Crandall's session in relationship to arm balances came to mind. Something I had completely forgotten to mention when I was writing up my thoughts here on Saturday. Basically we "did" our arm balances with our backs on the floor first, allowing our bodies to get the feel of the engagement and shape of our anatomy, before we flipped over to a more traditional approach. It was a fabulous experience and right away I thought "What an accessible way to work on arm balances with my seniors!" Not to mention when we did flip over to work with crane I was able to more easily access the balance, core engagement, and ease of breath that allowed me to lift my toes from the floor. For a split second I was doing it! Then I thought about the fact I was doing it and lost it. But the fact I could find the lift necessary even for a short while was totally empowering and inspiring.

I think one of the things that's taking me some time to fully process is how this experience relates to where I am in my practice and my teaching path. Last year when I came home from the Midwest Yoga Conference (and after the couple of shorter workshops I attended last year) I felt like I had a whole list of new things I wanted to share with my students. New ways to approach familiar poses. New ways to access unfamiliar poses. I don't have that same feeling post conference this time. It's true that a great amount of information, good solid information, was presented. I'm simply having a hard time figuring out how to apply it in my teaching. I'm finding there's less in relationship to anatomy and sequencing that feels fresh when I attend sessions. More that feels comfortably, confirmedly, familiar. Granted in Monday night's class I did share an adjustment with those in class for Down Dog. And today in my senior focused class we spent extra time talking about the knee joint and creating stability in various common poses. But I find myself thinking, "Now what?" when I think to future studies.

In general what I find myself thinking is "It's time for depth." In the past 10 years I've explored a broad amount of yoga knowledge, and now I'm feeling that the time has come to find depth. To go beyond the physicality of asana. To deepen my understanding and ability to make connections between one's practice of yoga and applications in life.

Cyndi Lee made the comment this weekend during a panel discussion that as practitioners of yoga, our practice informs our life. Whether it be in relationships, in business, in personal choices, one's choice to practice yoga affects more than jsut the physical being. I found that to be more and more true over the past couple of years as my commitment to study beyond asana strengthens.

What I haven't yet figured out is where searching for that depth will lead me. I have a sizable yoga related library. Books. DVDs. Every Yoga Journal issue I've received in the past 10 years. But I crave more. I crave a teacher. Someone to be my mentor. Someone who I can dialogue with about this fabulous mouth-to-ear tradition we know of as yoga. Someone whose knowledge I can learn from for months/years to come, instead of for a short 2-6 hours, one time at a workshop session. Someone who challenges me, yet who provides a safe environment for questioning and growth.

I somewhat run into a mental roadblock when I try to figure out how that craving fits into my current life. As a mid-westerner. As a mother of small kiddos. As a small town girl who has no intention of relocating simply to make it easier to travel this path.

Processing and decompressing...


namaste